piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
