if i can run in heels then i can drive
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
