At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
