How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
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