i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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