that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
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