He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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