I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
