Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
