well you can't waste a boner
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Randomize
