I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
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