i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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