I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
