I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
