Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Randomize
