and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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