I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Randomize
