they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I miss vodka workout Fridays
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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