He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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