I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
