my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize