oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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