I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
