The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
