I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
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