Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
