I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
