So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
