I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
