Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
