trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
