office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
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