But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
