I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
