i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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