I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
