Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
