wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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