White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
