I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
You need Xanax blowdarts
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
