can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
