Got a toothbrush?
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize