when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
