I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize