i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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