So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
