dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
