Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize