Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
