Kiss
Puke
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
