i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize