is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize