Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
