Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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