Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
