They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
