What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
so explain again why im purple
no
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
