Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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