you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
