i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
