The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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