I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
